They told us in the briefing that there is no sensation of flying - you simply rise. No breeze, no feeling of propulsion. To a combustion engine fanatic this is decidedly alien. If there is a feeling, it is one of effortlessness. But it also doesn't seem like it should be possible. We continue to rise up into the morning air.

Up until this point I have had zero reservations about this experience. 100% single track mind. We were going to be taking a hot air balloon ride damnit. This was going to be great. This is something people do on their vacations. As we were climbing to our highest elevation of ~9000 ft. I was absorbed with the landscape through the viewfinder. It was surreal and beautiful and magical. Then Susan asks to borrow the camera. I dutifully hand it over and look down at the world below ….

WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING UP HERE!!!! WTF!!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!! ARRRGHGHHGHGH!! I am nine goddamn thousand feet in the air with 9 complete strangers and all I have to prevent me from plummeting to earth is a fucking wicker basket. Whose idiotic idea was this. Am I mad??? How often do these things crash? Or break? Or go up in flames?? ARRRGHGHHGHGH!!

I totally flip out. I grab a hold of whatever structural supports are closest and refuse to budge. Frozen stiff. For some reason it had never occurred to me that this particular tourist attraction might get the attention of my old nemesis, Vertigo. Not once. Nope. Balloon ride. High. Massive ball of hot air floating thousands of feet up. <shrug>.

Meanwhile, Susan is trying to get an appropriate vacation pick of me, smiling calmly into the lens with the morning sunlight wrapping my profile along with the lofty scenery, the balloon and its occupants. Should have been a real keeper. We don’t look at those photos. They don't come out when we’re showing off the trip shots. They apparently have the power to frighten others.

It is decided that I should get to keep the camera. I start taking pictures again. My limbs begin to respond. A calm settles back over me. The sense of magic and awe returns.

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